I know you spent most of 2017 unhappy.
You drifted from one relationship to the next. You found yourself involved in almost-relationships, half-loves, and you ended up with toxic people. It was continuous without a break. The pain was excruciating crushing, the rejection was deeply ingrained in you, and you lived your days in a constant state of euphoria happiness and tormented pain.
You based your self-worth on the people who liked you and you were utterly shattered when they couldn’t reciprocate your feeling. You filled the remnants of your broken heart with a person and fell into the pit of darkness when that didn’t work out. You immersed yourself in negativity that you created in your own mind and was unable to move on from the past and see what was right before you.
You knew that was not the right way to live but life was just too hard. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. Building yourself up from rock bottom was daunting and the thought of facing your problems made you want to escape reality. You needed someone to be there and loneliness clouded your better judgment. You gave in to the dark thoughts that you couldn’t be alone and that pushed you to find a temporary company to sustain you. You seek any short-term reprieve without regard for the consequences and you just wanted the pain to stop.
So you took the easy way out to heal. To do what you thought would make you happy. To stop caring because that seemed like an easier option. At one point, you were bent on self-destruction and to ruin your own life. You thought nothing mattered anymore and caring meant setting yourself up for more disappointment and disillusionment.
But you couldn’t be more wrong.
Apathy was for the heartless and that was no way to live. The worse thing than being unhappy is to feel nothing. Because when you close yourself off to protect yourself from getting hurt, you cut off the prospect of you finding any possibility of love.
Being optimistic is hard work but being constantly negative is downright draining and depressing. Working on self-love isn’t easy on all days but basing your happiness on one person is surely the root of all your unhappiness. Embracing yourself fully is a constant work in progress yet it’s going to be so worth it when you can truly accept yourself.
Even if nothing makes sense and everything is wrong, you still have yourself. You are the only one who can always be there for you.
This year may be a rollercoaster ride of heartbreak and loss but the lessons you take away are priceless. This year may break your heart but you have learned how to build yourself up from nothing. This year may not be your best year but it is the turning point of your life.
For you promise yourself that 2018 is going to be different. 2018 is the year you will learn to appreciate and enjoy your own companionship above all else. You will be your own cheerleader instead of hoping for someone to make you smile. You will choose to be single instead of being with the wrong person.
You know what you want and now, you have to promise yourself to settle for nothing less than what you deserve.